I must have been sent on this drive for a reason...

Hi everyone!! :)

Well, Matt came up over the weekend and since Mike was feeling well enough, for the most part, we drove upstate to my in-laws. It was a nice weekend and the kids were absolutely thrilled to see Matt. I would love to share more about the weekend with you but for now I am only going to share about our drive upstate. It was a drive that I don't think I am going to forget for a long time because it really made me believe, even more than I did before, that everything is going to be ok. Here is the story of our drive...

I am going to start by saying, I never carry my camera up front in the car w/ me but since Matt was driving (that doesn't happen too often in the minivan!) I just threw it up there and I was so glad I did. If any of you live in New York you know that traffic can be bad on the NYS Thruway but it was downright horrendous, even for a Saturday morning. So we had to take a detour. It was a big detour. We had to get off of the Thruway and backtrack a few exits down the Sprain Brook. After we changed gears and got our bearings I knew that we had to drive up the mountains. I hate going that way, it's winding and steep and I am tend to get a little car sick when we have to drive that way so I was not thrilled by this!! It was a normal drive for a little while until all of a sudden we turned up 9W and the view was just stunning. There was an ice storm on Thursday night and everything was still covered and coated with ice. I had never seen anything like it. It was absolutely stunning. On top of being so beautiful, there was something so peaceful about it. Katie was so excited by it but I couldn't believe it, it was amazing, I could look at it for days. In fact, one of my pictures is now my computer's background so I can see it every time I look at the computer.

I believe there was a reason we were sent that way. There was a reason Matt was driving, that there was unbearable traffic on the route that we normally take, and that I had put my camera in the front with me. I think I was supposed to see how beautiful things can be despite everything going on in our lives. Because, let's face it... when your 3 year old has an unidentifiable brain & spine tumor you tend to have a few disagreements with God. I know that people will tell me things like He doesn't let you go through things alone, He is always there with you, He is watching over us and He never gives you more than you can handle but I have to be honest... He is really getting ready to cross that line of what I can handle and what I can't. I pray every day like crazy. I pray for Mike, Katie, me, our family and friends who have been so wonderful to us, those that we know that are going through their own tumor and cancer battles and for those that we don't know that are battling too... and there are about 100 more intentions and people that I pray for on a daily basis. I have really been struggling with all of this because watching my 3 year old get stuck with 2 needles a week and getting pumped full of chemo, getting sick from the medication that is supposed to make him better, feeling so tired after just a little while of playing, losing his hair, having his sister worry about him and wonder every week if we will be home from the hospital or if we will have to stay with no notice again. I know I have said it before but I can't say it enough, our family and friends have been amazing. I have so much support that it is awesome, but no matter how many people are around, at the end of the day it's me that Mike wants to hold him and me that Katie asks the questions that wake her up at 3 AM to answer. It's me that holds him for every fingerstick and port access and just sits with him rubbing his back and holding him when he feels miserable. So, now I know that I was sent on that drive this weekend to remind me that things will get better, that there is calmness and beauty to come. This is our traffic jam, our unexpected, horrendous, out of the blue Saturday morning traffic jam and we may have to step back and find our way but the outcome will be wonderful.

I just wanted to share that with all of you. Now, since I was able to get some pictures I want to share them with all of you.









That's all for now... I am off to bring Katie to cheer at a basketball game. I hope that you are all well. Please keep those prayers coming, they are appreciated more than you know!

Love,
Chrissie

7 weeks down.... 53 to go... & Katie's Christmas Show!! :)

Hi everyone!

I want to thank all of those that have responded so generously about giving blood in Mike's name. I appreciate you all more than you will ever know!

So, yesterday Mike received his 7th chemo treatment. His numbers were holding strong yesterday!! :) His WBC was 11.7, HGB 11.3, Platelets 458 (!) and ANCs 5.9!! :) YAY Mike!! :) It seems that the transfusion and the 5 days of Neupogen really did what they were supposed to do. He did really well during treatment yesterday. We had a new nurse and she was wonderful. So far our nurses have been Mary, Carlene & Cassie. Of course, Maureen and Connie aren't our nurses but we like to call them our own too!! LOL Anyway, Mike did really well during his appointment and during treatment. The Dr was happy with his progress and how he came back from the neutropenia. I do have some concerns about things going on w/ Mike and I addressed them w/ the Doctor. The Dr. just wants me to keep an eye on him and keep a journal of what is going on and how often things are happening.

On top of those concerns, Mike got sick in the middle of the night. He woke up around 3:15 whining and cranky. I went over to rub his back and to see what was going on. He calmed down as I was rubbing his back and then all of a sudden he just got sick. :( It happened 3 times and he was so upset. I felt horrible for him. He stayed up laying in my bed just uncomfortable and upset. He finally fell back to sleep around 6 or so. He isn't doing so hot today either. I gave him the anti-nausea meds and they seemed to help for a little while and you could really tell when the meds were wearing off. He was miserable. :( I hate that he feels so sick.

Since I had sent Katie right to my mom's room as soon as Mike started getting sick my mom came in when Mike and I were just falling back to sleep and got what Katie needed to wear to school today and got her up and dressed so I could get some more sleep. This is why I know I couldn't do this anywhere else. To know that Katie is taken care of while I am taking care of Mike when he is sick is priceless.

Anyway, on to Katie's Christmas show. I can't post most of the pictures b/c they have other kids in them but I will show you the ones of just her. She was so excited yesterday to be doing the show. I think it was even more exciting b/c she had so many people come to see her. That's what I love about my family and being so close again! My mom works in her school so she is always there! My sister watched Mike at home and will come to the show tonight and my other sister came with us last night after work. My dad and stepmother drove to us from NJ and my mother-in-law and sister-in-law stayed here instead of driving back upstate right after chemo to see the show. And, as an added bonus, my aunt was up from Florida to take care of my great aunt after she fell and was still here last night so she came to the show too!! Katie was so thrilled that everyone was there and it was so great to see her so happy and excited! Here are a few pictures of her from yesterday :)


Katie & Mike playing after Katie got home from school where she had her dress rehearsal for the show :)



Katie in her dress for Wednesday night's show!! :)


The show's title... Children of the World Rejoice!


Katie standing in front of the Advent Candles that her class made :)

Well, that's it for now... Mike is napping so I am going to finish the laundry that needs to be done from last night.

I hope you are all well! Please keep those prayers and good thoughts coming!!

Love to all,
Chrissie

Donating Blood

**This is an e-mail that I sent out to just about everyone on my e-mail contact list. There is a flier that I have with all of the information on how to donate blood for Mike but I am not posting it on here for privacy reasons, so if you would like the information please send me your e-mail address. My e-mail address is: chrissielw@gmail.com. Thank you so much!! Please keep those prayers coming!!

Hi everyone!

First, I would like to thank you all for your good thoughts, prayers and support during the past few months. The support that we have received from family and friends has made a very hard time a little easier. We ask that you please keep those prayers and good thoughts coming for Mike and our family.

I am e-mailing you today because, while Mike is doing well, he hit a small bump in the road last week and needed a blood transfusion. This could end up being a common occurrence for Mike during his treatment, as it is for many patients receiving chemotherapy. Because of this possibility, our family has teamed up with the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSKCC) and started a blood drive in Mike's name. Even if you are not a match for Mike, the blood that you donate will go to help someone else at MSKCC that needs it during their treatment.

The information for donating blood is attached to this e-mail. Included in this information is the MSKCC website that details the donation requirements and the contact information at MSKCC that you would need to make an appointment to donate blood for Mike. If you can not get to MSKCC or can not donate blood for any reason, we completely understand, we just ask for your continued prayers for Mike. Please feel free to forward this e-mail on to anyone in the area that you know that might be able to donate for Mike!!

Thank you again for all of your thoughts, prayers and support. I hope you and your families are enjoying the holiday season!

Love,
Chrissie, Matt, Katie, Mike & our entire extended family!