Thursday, April 24, 2008

I know, I know... my title is mis-spelled!!

But if you know me at all you know I LOVE Winnie the Pooh and that is how he spells thoughtful and I am in one of those moods today so that is how I am spelling thoughtful... until I change my mind and change the title of my blog...

For those who are reading this and don't know me... my name is Chrissie. Well, technically, it's Christine Marie Elizabeth L......-W........ but most people call me Chrissie. My kids call me Mommy, Mama and Maaaaaaaaa but that's only when they are yelling for me from another room or they NEEEEED something or they want something that they don't feel like getting themselves. So, needless to say, Maaaaaa is what I am called most!! I am 31 (gulp!) years old. Where did all those years go? I feel like it was just last week that I was in PS114's playground waiting on line for Mrs. D to go in for my first day of first grade... and then just yesterday that Mr. B took my first day of Fontbonne picture on the front steps and now here I am married to Matt and mommy to 6 year old Katie & 2 year old Mike!! When did that happen? When did my friends and I become adults? When did we have to plan everything and make dinner reservations 2 weeks in advance so that we could be sure to secure babysitting and work schedules? What happened to calling at 8 at night and getting together at 9??!! LOL Those days are long gone, and while I miss them, I wouldn't trade what I have right now for any of them.

My life has been one very long, very rickety roller coaster this past year. See, I grew up in this little suburb of NYC, Rockaway Beach. If any of you know the Ramones song, Rock Rock Rockaway Beach... yep, that's where I grew up. My house was 3 blocks away from the beach... and that was the block that was the farthest away from the ocean! LOL It is definitely the everyone knows everyone type of place. It is home, no matter where I live at any point during the rest of my life, Rockaway will always be home to me. It is where I was brought home from the hospital, made my First Communion, learned to swim, went to grammar school, had my first kiss, my first date, learned to drive, where I got ready to get married and where I brought both of my kids home to. My mom, sisters, family and friends are still there, or at least within 20/30 minutes driving distance!! LOL I love it there. It is definitely my home.

Now for the roller coaster part of my life!! A year ago, April 3, 2007 to be exact, we (Matt, Katie, Mike, Pugsley-Ugsley, our 8 year old Puggie & I) moved from Rockaway Beach, NY to Cape Coral, Fl. Granted, it is only a 3 hour plane ride away and there are such things as the phone and internet so keeping in touch is as easy as it could be BUT it isn't the same. When we moved last year I lived one house off of the ocean, 4 1/2 blocks from my mom, 4 blocks from my sister, aunt and grandmother, 2 blocks from my best friend, 5 minutes from another aunt, 10 minutes from my other best friend 20 minutes from my high school and 3 or 4 more friends and since my Dad had moved to NJ just one hour from him. Now, I am a plane ride away. I am here, with no family for 6 months of the year (my aunt, my dad's sister, snowbirds and has a house here but they are only here for 1/2 the year) and only one woman that I would even think of calling a friend, the others are acquaintances, if even that. I know most people say give it a year but everyone I have met down here has said it took at least 2 years for them to be OK with the move. And that is just to be OK with it! Most didn't start liking it until they were here for 4 years!! 4 years!! That is just crazy to me. Anyway, since we got here I have been homesick, Katie has had quite a few meltdowns where she cries that she wants to go home to Rockaway and see her family and she misses her friends, Mike had to have surgery to put tubes in his ears (the tubes have since fallen out and we have to watch his ears and hope and pray that he doesn't start w/ more ear infections so that he doesn't have to have surgery again), he started speech therapy through early intervention, my allergies have been kicking my a$$ non-stop, Matt has had pneumonia twice and one of those times he was in the hospital for 8 days, Katie has had a recurrent cough and swimmers ear, the insurance is denying the hospital claim for Matt's stay and now we may have to pay a $25,000 bill and I had a miscarriage. (The miscarriage is really fresh in my head since it just happened this weekend so my thoughts and feelings on that will be in another blog when I can really let it all out and it isn't as fresh and raw to me....)

Now, don't get me wrong, there have been good points this year. Katie has been doing AMAZING in Kindergarten, Mike has said MaMa and is a loving kid, Matt has done wonderful at his new job and I have definitely been getting to Disney a lot!! :) Disney is probably the best part of living in Florida. I love going there!! We went in Aug, Sept, Oct, Nov, Dec Jan and we are going again in June :) It is my favorite place ever and my kiddies LOVE it there too :) I have also really enjoyed having family and friends visit us. It is great to be able to get to spend days and days with them when we really used to only get together for dinner here and there. And, another plus is that I have been on MySpace and Facebook and have been able to get in touch with so many old friends through those sites! :) That has been a great thing! Unfortunately, most of them live in NY so it is hard to see them but being able to see that they are all doing well and planning to get together is a lot of fun :)

So, here I am, living in Florida for a year. I have been home a couple of times since we moved last year. I took the kids home for Christmas and then I went home for my best friend's bridal shower and will be home again for her wedding in May. But I am really looking forward to going home for a month over the summer. I am taking the kids for a month, Matt is joining me for the last week and we will all fly back to Florida together. On the surface I am doing great - I love my kids, they really are the best! And for all the complaining and b*tching and moaning I do about Matt he really is a great guy. He doesn't get how I feel and he doesn't want to so that is a major sticking point these days but I think this past weekend he has seen how hard it is for me to be alone down here and hopefully he appreciates my feelings a little more than he did before. Deep down, I am a mess but I hold onto the hope that God knows what he is doing and that there is a bigger plan for me and that things will get better.

I am hoping to write daily or at least every other day. The posts won't be as long as this since this was a 'getting to know me' post! LOL Thanks for reading. Hope that you all have a wonderful day...

With love from,
Chrissie in Happy Valley