Monday, June 7, 2010

An old e-mail... who knew it would be all too fitting for my life today

When I was pregnant with Mikey I joined an online message board group for moms that were pregnant and due the same month as I was, a December 2005 Pregnancy Board. We shared stories, fears, points of view and advice. After the babies were born we stayed on the message board but some of us branched off into groups. We shared the highs and lows of new mommy-hood and stories, fears and advice. We became friends.

I got a message from a friend that I made in that group a few days ago. Once I saw what she had written to me I didn't want to read it. I knew what it had said and I remembered sending it out. I remembered getting it in an e-mail from a friend, forwarding it to the group and printing it out and putting it on my refrigerator. We were living in Florida at the time. Ironically, I had sent it out on Valentine's Day, 2006.

When Mikey got sick you know that I didn't go back to that house for more than a few hours before he and I were flown up to NYC. I hadn't packed our stuff, I hadn't sealed the boxes, hadn't taken pictures off of the wall & I hadn't removed everything from the refrigerator doors. I don't know if this poem is in a box or if it was thrown out. And to be honest, I had forgotten about it... until last week when I got a message from my friend.

Like I said, it took me a while to read this poem... it meant so much to me back when I first read it and sent it out... and it means even more to me now...

I want to share it with you... and then I'm spending the day with my kiddies...

To My Child

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys..
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just! for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day..............