Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The reality of it all...

So there's this blog I follow. Well, there are a lot of blogs I follow but this one I really follow. See, when you are a cancer mom you have things in common with people that you wouldn't even think about if your child didn't have cancer. You rejoice when the scale stays the same and doesn't drop at each doctor visit. You are relieved when you can go a day without giving your child a stool softener. You get a thrill knowing that your little one is not nauseous for a day and hope you are so lucky tomorrow. You don't care what it is that your child eats as long as they get the calories they need to sustain them through chemo. You realize that today is the most important day of the week, no matter what day it is and what happens. You feel like you are going to cry over the slightest thing one day soon because you have held it in when all the big things happened that week. You have these unspoken fears and thoughts that you know noone but another cancer mom could understand you having.

So, like I said before, I found this blog. I don't even remember what blog I found it through but once I read it, I immediately started following it. (since I don't know how to add a link to my blog, here's the web address for it... http://half12.blogspot.com/)It is a mom blogging about her little girl named Tuesday who has neuroblastoma. Tuesday is a twin and she and her sister turned 2 in October. She is just the cutest little thing. Every picture I saw of her she was smiling in, no matter what was going on there was a smile. And once I found the blog I went back and read the whole thing... of course there was a box of tissues right next to the computer. I read it all, the ins and outs of the hospital, the scans, the chemo, the PICU stays... I would comment on their blog and Jessica (Tuesday's mom) sent me her phone number to talk to her about the Temodar that Mike is currently on. I hadn't been able to call her b/c of all the craziness with the hernia surgery but was hoping to do that this week. My heart broke into a hundred pieces when I sat down to update you all on Mike and I opened my blogging dashboard. I went right to Tuesday's blog and saw this...Any mom's worst nightmare. A cancer mom's worst fear. And there it was, staring me right in the face.

Tuesday Fiona Whitt

October 11, 2006 - January 30, 2009

It is amazing how one story from one family can touch you so much. I have been crying since I posted about Mike and read about Tuesday today. It is heart wrenching to know that there are so many other families that have pediatric cancer out there that worry like I do so often and so much. It is exhausting to think about the number of children that are diagnosed each day and the number of families that are living with and fighting pediatric cancers.

To Little Tuesday, May you rest in peace and be in no more pain. May you wear that beautiful smile every day and watch over your family and give them the strength that they need. To Jessica and all of Tuesday's family, my heart breaks for you and my prayers are with you.

Hug those kiddies of yours even tighter tonight. And please, when you pray for Mike, include Tuesday and her family in your prayers.



Andersen Family said...

Ok, just had another one of those "wish i didn't read this moment" I can only imagine how hard it was for you see that she had passed. The feeling I have right now is not much better. I hate crying!!! Off to get tissues. Praying for sloan free days the rest of this week.

Anonymous said...

Praying for Mike and Tuesday.I found her blog through yours and follow both religiously. I hug my kids tighter since I started reading these blogs. Thank you for the reminder.


BoufMom9 said...

Oh my gosh. My heart is breaking for you as well.
I am a good friend to the Whitt family and have another friend with a 3 yr old with cancer as well and I couldn't bring myself to tell them for 2 days about Tuesday because of knowing what your fears must be.
Please stay strong for your little guy. It's hard to be faithful when it seems so hopeless, but those are the moments you need your faith the most.
The Whitts are an incredible family, whose faith is abounding and whose love is remarkable.
Thank you for reaching out to JK when you did and for giving her "company" as only a mohter of a child with cancer can do.
Most sincerely,